Revenge

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Mad at baby momma for getting full custody? Hate your neighbor but don’t want to seem like a bad person? Sick of your sister and her bratty kids? Vengeance can be found here. Buy gifts for their kids from the ones specially selected here.

 


The noise never ends with this gift. The kids never really develop any talent, but they keep trying and trying. You may want to Let it go (go, go, go go, go go, go go, go, go, go go), but it just won’t happen. The irritating noises will live on in two ways. First, your victim will have to endure the sound of the “musical instrument” and then they will have to deal with the crying and complaints of the child as she searches for the recorder that has been broken into bits and tossed in the trash. Just try to let it go.

 

Is your victim’s child too young for a musical instrument?  No problem with this inexpensive LOUD kazoo.  The kid can hum Disney toons, Wiggles songs, and Barney barf for hours.

Speaking of Barney, the kids will love to play his songs on repeat for hours… and hours… and hours.

 

I must confess that I bought one of these and I love it.  It is great for killing flies.  Unfortunately, after the flies are dead, the kids still want to use the gun.  The salt penetrates strawberries.  The salt gets embedded in bread.  The salt gets scattered on the counters.  The salt will eventually be used against siblings (thankfully with little damage).  Once fired, the gun will continue in use until confiscated.  When confiscated, expect hours of whining.

 

This is another product I like for my own personal use. While not as good a bug killer as the last product reviewed, this still does the job. For kids – not so great. Will your victim’s kid try to lick it?  Mine did.  ETA: 8 minutes.

 

This stuff will get in the couch cushions, in the carpet, in ears, and everywhere the vacuum can’t reach.  If the vacuum can reach, no problem.  This stuff seems to be immune to the force of vacuums.

 

This stuff also spreads throughout the house and escapes the power of the vacuum.

 

This thing is difficult for younger children to use, but once they master it, expect nearby adults to experience bleeding from the ears.

 

Want your victim to spend hours teaching the kids impractical cooking skills?  Want your victim to buy mixes to make cakes that cost $2,300 per pound (maybe a bit less).  This is the product.  A Betty Crocker cake mix can be bought for about a buck fifty or the victim can be forced to search for days (or weeks) for a specialized, high price, mix that can only be used in a light bulb powered annoyance.

 

Beads on the floor.  Beads by the door.  Beads in the car.  Beads near and far.  Beads, beads, here and there.  Beads, beads, everywhere.

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